MANDALA # 22/1000 

Beauty in the Scars
12.02.18

My neck strains
from the weight of my heavy heart.
My muscles tighten
making it hard to breathe
hard to speak.

Protect your heart, mama always said.
Protect your heart from him.

But he isn’t the one to fear.
No man could match the damage already done by the woman.

The woman who traveled beside me
for as long as I have ever known.
Who whispered cruel words with a cutting tongue.
She brought a knife to my skin.
Called me unkind names
and pointed out my flaws.
She took me from my home
and burned the bridge that would ever
allow me to find my way back.
Forced me to eat.
Forced her fingers down my throat.
Handcuffed me to a treadmill and told me to run.
Run until my feet blistered and bled.
She forced me to my knees.
And reminded me each day just how worthless I was.

Who could be this cruel.
This unkind to another.
There is only one who holds this much power.
The only one woman to fear.
That one woman is ME.

I put my body through war.
My heart held captive.
My eyes were the only witness.

BUT I WON’T DO IT ANYMORE.
I am learning to find beauty in the scars.
Strength in the flaws.
I am rebuilding the bridge
with a foundation that can’t be burned.
Because it is time to come home.
HOME TO MYSELF.
To the only body I have ever known.
It is time to accept my own skin.

So I am wiping off the dirt from my knees.
with shoulders back
and a forgiving heart.

I am coming home.

SAS